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Reflections {A year of Craig}

Oh sweet baby boy it’s the eve of your birthday…. a year ago I was already in labor with you, not knowing what the next 24 hours would bring and how you were brought into this world. It was so surreal to me being in the hospital in actual Labor, you my sweet baby boy are our dream come true. We wished upon a million stars for you and said a million prayers and our wishes and prayers came true.  Reflecting back on this last year you have brought your daddy and I pure joy. You put a smile on our face everyday. You are beyond smart for your age, have the sweetest heart, the most adorable smile and a spunky personality. As you wake up tomorrow you are no longer a baby but a toddler and a strong willed one at that. We can’t wait to watch you grow into the little boy we have always dreamed and prayed for. My sweet sweet boy the night you were born was a whirlwind of emotions, I didn’t get to hold you until the next day but from the moment I saw you I fell in love all over again. You dance to the beat of your own drum, you let your presence be known wherever we go and if you don’t like something you defiantly let us know. We can’t wait to see where this next year takes us. As we embark on your toddler years you will teach us much more then we could ever imagine and a journey we look forward to walking with you.

 

Happy Birthday my sweet baby boy,

 

Mommy and Daddy love you

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Crazy Military Life

As many know I’m a military vet and now spouse. Well we’ve been at our base for 10 years and have seen people come and go like it’s going out of style. Well when I found out I was pregnant with Craig I kept it very hush hush until we saw a doctor this time and on Easter is when we announced we were pregnant. Well I love playing Bunco and for those that don’t know it’s a fun dice game and my group that I’m in get R-O-W-D-Y! By some luck of chance another woman in the group it was her first game too was pregnant with also her rainbow baby. Through them we became really good friends and experienced pregnancy and fear and joy together as we welcomed our babies. Sadly the military took them from us and moved them halfway across the world to Spain and I love to say that even though we are 9 hours apart we still talk and are raising our babies close to each other. With out her coming in my life when she did I wouldn’t of known how to handle growing Craig alone. It was scary, it was new, it was joyful, it was frightening. I needed her I think as much as she needed me with this new adventure we were going on. We leaned on each other through the struggles and cried with each other through the joys and triumphs of our babies being born. No matter where the Air Force takes our families they’ll always have a bed in our home ❤

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To my Rainbow Son

Criag,

You are loved. You will never know how wanted and loved you are. Mommy and Daddy tried for years for you. Through victories and failures, you came to us. A surprise, you came to us when I needed you, not wanted. You are wanted but you came to us on God’s time not ours.

As we approach your first birthday I reflect back on the year we’ve had from the day of your birth til the night before you turn one. You have taught me love and patience. Kindness and humility. Many tears have been shed from happiness and sadness, tiredness and everything in-between.

As we embark on your toddler years we can’t wait to see the stubbornness you get from me and the loving kind spirit you get from your Daddy show through on it’s own time and your personality.

My Dear Son,

I promise to always show you a kind and loving heart and hand. Even when you are testing my patience through the day. The night you were born so many emotions went through my body and soul. You were our missing piece and coming at the right time to heal my heart. I will always be your best friend and guide. I will guide you through life and support you no matter what you choose to do. I will show you how to speak with a gentle heart. No matter where life takes you, I will always be by your side. I love you my sweet baby boy.

Love,

Your Momma

 

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A long overdue Update!

It’s been awhile since I’ve written about our journey. My husband was deployed for 6 months in Jan of 2015. I took that time to work on myself, I decided to go back to school and lose weight in the process. I lost over 40 pounds with exercise and clean eating. January of 2016 my sister decided to come and spend a few days with us here. It was nice to see her after a few years of not being home. Well in February I found out I was pregnant with our little surprise rainbow. I was in complete shock, we didn’t have any fertility treatments to help us. I cried for two days in shock then I was in denial for about a month until we saw our little on the ultrasound and the sweet sound of his heartbeat a million emotions just flooded my body. It wasn’t a very easy pregnancy, I thought I was going to lose him a time or two so I was very cautions on my working out and did low impact activity. On November 4th we welcomed our sweet little boy Douglas Craig Little IIIlittle-family-2016-small-23

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long over due update

I know it’s been awhile since I’ve written…. we did end up pregnant again with our Rainbow in April of 2014 sadly the day I found out I was pregnant I started bleeding again. I was bleeding for three weeks straight but my levels were going up so I wasn’t to concerned on having ANOTHER miscarriage. Well I was up in Washington State for my God sons 1st birthday…. well I ended up in emergency surgery for having a ruptured ectopic. Well fast forward I had to have an Hsg done (tubes clear) got the ok to start treatmeant again. November had 2 follies… nothing… December had 32 follies… so now our only option is IVF…. however this baby factory is closed. I have came to the decision to move on with our lives and if it happens it happens. I can’t keep going through doctors appointments and shots and disappointment month after month… if we are blessed with a baby I will be over the moon… if not I have my two fur babies that I love to death 🙂

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Rainbow baby

Now that we’ve started treatment for our Rainbow baby I decided to start a Journal. It will have all the information about my miscarriage, surgeries, injections and dr appointments. It will have thoughts and letters from me and Doug in it. When we think Rainbow is old enough we will give it to him/her or them…